Meaningful Conversations
After the pandemic and months of isolation, I find going out to dinner with friends a treat. A recent lunch with high school classmates I haven’t seen in decades led to two hours of laughter and life updates. After living in a small town with few restaurants to choose from, the importance of conversations around the dining room table without the interruptions of waiters, food delivery and general commotion was a wonderful solution. You may ask, so what does this have to do with fundraising? It is everything.
Listening is certainly the most important skill for any fundraiser, but first, you need to know how to start a conversation. Years ago, at a Technology of Facilitation (ToP) training course, the presenter spent an afternoon teaching the attendees how to build a “focused conversation”. This conversation method was built on discovery, reflection, interpretation and resolution by asking a series of questions based on the topic or issue. The ToP method was created to access group wisdom by planning what questions to ask to garner greater participation and understanding. To me, daily incorporation of the conversation method has become a life skill not only for my work, but for my personal relationships as well.
As our world continually moves to one-sided messaging of texts, emails, and social media postings – building authentic relationships is becoming harder and harder. Last Saturday at the restaurant table next to me was a mother out for lunch with her two young daughters. The mother was looking at her phone, and her two daughters were on their tablets. This certainly could be a “treat” for all of them, but screen time is certainly replacing conversation.
Learning the ‘art of conversation’ helps introverts and extroverts. Watch any news reporter today to understand the process of their questions.
The holidays are upon us. Many gatherings are ahead. Trying out this method may bring surprising results. “The Art of Focused Conversations” by R. Brian Stanfield is a great starting point.
Barbara H. McColm, CFRE is a Senior Consultant with M. Gale & Associates. A founding member of the M. Gale & Associates team, Barbara has more than 30 years of experience in nonprofit fundraising, including health care, retirement living services and other community service organizations. Please reach out to Barbara for more information on consulting services Barbara.McColm@mgaleassociates.com. You can learn more about Barbara and the M. Gale Team by visiting our Team page.
